To Love and To Be Loved
by Silenced by Chronos
Summary: Sakura Mikan, 14, Dangerous Ability Class, Gakuen Alice. Has she sunken in the darkness that Natsume didn't want her to see? She's in love with Narumi? ...And what ? ! R&R. NarumixMikanxNatsume
1. At Fourteen

**Author's Note: Ah, I haven't written or updated my fanfics for such a long time. Sorry guys. And I sincerely apologize for my readers for the fanfic ****Things that Just Don't Change****; I deleted it. If I had continued to write that story it would have disappointed you all even more than if I deleted it. But, from its deletion, a new fanfic is born! So I hope that this fanfic kind of makes up for the other one... Enjoy! **

**I'm not sure if it's alright for this to be rated T but please let me know if it's not.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice. The Great Higuchi Tachibana does.**

Text - Normal POV (or Mikan's POV)

_Text – (Inner) Thoughts or Flashbacks (or for emphasis)_

**Text - Author's Note(s), titles, (or for emphasis)**

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**Chapter One: At Fourteen**

**-**

I pondered over what has happened these past four years. Everything seemed to happen so fast. I try to remember what has happened but I can't seem to see my memories clearly; most of them are but a blur to me. When I try to remember, it seems as if those memories were never real to begin with. The laughter and warmth, the times of just fun and games— times of the ten year old me with everyone else. Sometimes I doubt that those memories are real, since the present is nothing like those days. I, Sakura Mikan, am fourteen years of age, in Gakuen Alice's Middle School Division.

The first to leave me was Tsubasa-senpai. He had gotten transferred to the Dangerous Ability Class because of me and he was nowhere to be found when they went on a mission.

The next to leave was Hotaru.

She left to a foreign country because of her great Alice, and she said she would only be away for a year or two but it's been three years, and she's still not back. Not even a single message from her. This was when we were eleven.

Next was Natsume-kun.

He was sent out to a mission as punishment for helping me to try to escape from the academy before, when the Primary Division School's Principal had put me in the Dangerous Ability Class because of my Stealing Alice. Ruka-pyon fortunately stayed at this academy, but his punishment for also helping me try to escape was no better than anyone else's punishment.

Narumi-sensei had been cursed twice by Persona's Alice, and the academy is keeping him under great surveillance since they don't trust him anymore. Not after this incident. Persona's Alice had made him suffer painfully and slowly. But he's "okay" now, I guess. I tried to make the pain easier to bear with for him by constantly taking away some of it from his body. Tsubasa-senpai was found and rescued by the original Dangerous Ability Class. I became a bit relieved knowing that he was safe again. But I despise myself.

Everything is all my fault. It's my fault that Tsubasa-senpai is in the Dangerous Ability Class. That everyone was punished for a failed attempt to try save me from the academy and help me try to escape. That they're all miserable as hell right now. I screwed up everyone's lives.

Of course, I'm now a member of the Dangerous Ability Class as well, as the Primary Division's Principal had wanted in the first place. I'm his "favorite" as he promised the first time I found out that I was to be a Dangerous Ability student. I can do nothing to help everyone but do as the principal says so that my loved ones don't suffer any longer. Especially Narumi-sensei.

Yes, I loved Natsume before. At least, I'm pretty sure that it was love. But as both time passed and the distance between us grew, our relationship couldn't last. My feelings for him have been sealed away in the depths of my heart. I pray that when the day that he returns comes, that he'll feel the same way; so that I don't hurt him any more than I already have.

I feel like a bigger idiot than I ever was for following the same path that my mother took. At least, part of it anyway.

Smiling.

Crying.

Hoping.

Rebelling.

And falling in love with a teacher. Forbidden love. I hate myself even more because although I love Naru-sensei, I must treat him as though I don't have mutual feelings for him. I can't show him how I truly feel for him because the principal has also taken a personal liking to me. The more the principal saw me, the more fond he grew of me; and he's done certain things to me; and I don't want to taint Narumi-sensei with my impurity, my filthiness. I don't want to make him hurt any longer.

About half a year ago . . .

_I walked toward the principal's office because he called for me..._

_I knocked on the large doors of his office. "Sakura Mikan, sir," I announced, letting my identity be known._

"_Enter," I heard him say._

_As I shut the doors and turned around, he was there, with a sly, amused grin plastered on his face. "Mikan," he paused and inched his face close to mine, "I've taken a certain liking to you; different from what I meant before," he smirked. _

_Instantly, I felt his cold lips crushing against mine. I stared blankly and did not resist, for I knew that there was no use in resisting. How I wanted to slap him right then and there. But I couldn't._

It was from that day that I've been meeting him more often for "special appointments."

"...kura." I thought I heard something but I ignored it. "Sakura!!" the teacher rose his voice at me. What a dumb ass. He should just shut up. "Pay attention or I'll report how you've been behaving to the Primary Division principal," he threatened. Wrong move, _sensei_.

I sent him one of my death glares.

I was seriously pissed; this damn idiot has no fucking idea what is really going on in this academy, let alone what's happening between me and the principal. I used the Levitating Alice that I partially stole from someone and his body flew across the room. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. But I didn't give a damn. I just walked out of the room. I wasn't going to stay in there with that idiotic sensei. It's only around ten-something AM so I have plenty of time to waste cutting classes today.

Man, I think I'm like a Natsume-number-two or a Natsume-substitute or something to people. I'm as cold as the Arctic Winds. I keep mostly to myself. I have a powerful Alice. I'm seen as a threat, a monster of some sort. Yeah, I bet that's what they think. Maybe I should steal someone's Mind Reading Alice to make sure... Hm...

Did I mention that I'm a special-star now? Heh, I wonder if I'm a special-star because I earned it or if it's because of the principal's "privileges." Also, I've actually grown breasts and I'm a size 34C. I'm just saying because when I ate the Gulliver candy* before, I was flat. Natsume even made fun of me for having no breasts even though my body was for a teenager when I ate the candy.

I'm pretty much alright at using my Stealing Alice and I've become pretty good at using my Nullification Alice. The principal's body isn't the body of a child now; he has the body of a teenager, probably around my age. I used my Stealing Alice to take some unknown thing from his body that my mom put into him and his body suddenly became like a teenager's body instead of a child's body.

A memorable thought that I have of this academy is when Koizumi Luna was tossed aside just like that because I had stolen her Alice. Now _that _was a sight; thinking about it always makes me grin.

I sighed and let my feet take me wherever they led me and occupied myself with several thoughts . . .

Nobara-chan is one of my closest friends here in the academy. Other than that I still have some old friends like Tsubasa-senpai, Ruka, and some new "friends;" and some of those new "friends" were from the Dangerous Ability Class.

"_Mmm! Principal, please stop..." I whispered meekly as I felt fresh tears burst out as I felt the searing pain of having sex the first time. _

_Much to my dismay, I was ignored and he continued. I bit my lip to stop myself from saying anything or making any... "unwanted or unnecessary" noises._

_I laid on top of his office table trying my best to keep myself sane. _

_The thought of being tainted like this made me feel a sharp pang in my chest as the image of Narumi-sensei suddenly appeared in my head._

_I felt the principal using more force and . . . _

"_Aaaah!" I couldn't help but let it out. I feel so disgusting. Gomen, Naru-sensei..._ _I felt more tears pour out and trickle down my face. Narumi-sensei's bright smiling face was all I could think of, that amazing face turning into a face of pain and horror if he had witnessed this scene right now._

_Next thing I knew, the principal had gotten his clothes back on and whispered seductively in my ear: "Mikan, next time, try to scream my name. It's Kuonji**." _

_He nibble my ear afterward. _

_I heard him chuckle just before he left the room; just before he left me just lying there. _

I felt myself bump into someone and I fell onto the ground on my ass. Thank God I bumped into this person; if not, I'd probably still be stuck in that horrid memory. "Gomen," I apologized.

"Mikan?" his masculine voice came.

I opened my eyes immediately; I could recognize that voice any time, anywhere.

"N-Narumi-sensei?!" I blurted out in shock. He walked toward me and helped me up.

"I-I don't need your help. I c-can get up on my own," I stuttered. God! Why did I have to stutter now, in front of Narumi-sensei?! I'm supposed to be cold toward him, for his own sake... Come on Mikan, I know you can do it.

. . . But I want to touch him so bad . . . I haven't seen him in what seems like ages and I want to say something to him; have a decent conversation with him...

He smiled at me despite my rude reply to him helping me get up. "Mikan-chan, what a surprise seeing you here. How did you end up here anyway?"

I looked around at my surroundings. Ack, I ended up in the elementary division's school. How the hell did I end up here? I should pay more attention to where I'm going and stop letting my feet take me wherever.

"Cutting classes, eh, Mikan-chan?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

I glared at him. I think I even pouted by accident, out of old habit.

I don't like it when he uses the honorific "chan" with my name. It makes me think that he sees me as a child or just a girl. Why can't he just drop the "chan" and call me by my first name?? "Don't call me that," I snapped at him.

"Uhm, alright. Sakura-san then?" he smiled again.

I looked at his face and my eyes caught his.

Sorrow.

I relaxed my face more and tried to put a poker face on, but I think my facial expression is sad right now. By just looking at those expressive purple eyes of his, I can see the pain he's feeling right now.

. . . Is it because of me?

"Sakura-san? What's wrong?" he frowned as well. Probably because of the frown on my face.

I shook my head and said softly, "Iie, it's Mikan, Naru-_sensei_."

"A-Ah... Okay... Um, Mikan," he said sheepishly and looked away. I think I saw him blushing a bit. Oh yeah, I remember . . .

I've been treating him coldly. I _**told **_him not to call me "Mikan." I've been doing these things in order for him to protect him so that he wouldn't have to suffer any more than I've made him. But it seems like I've been hurting him more than I expected . . . Sensei . . .

"Well, it was nice seeing you again," he paused, and looked away. "...Mikan. I'll be going now," he said rather swiftly and turned to leave.

Ouch. It's like he doesn't even want to talk to me any more.

Don't leave sensei…

I faced his back— the back that I had hid behind before for protection, countless times. Don't go... Don't leave me…

I don't want him to go…

Stay with me…

I raised my hand towards his back . . .

---

***Gulliver candy – changes your actual age. Mentioned in the manga. Banned from GA because of its side effect(s).**

**** I have no idea what the Principal's last name is. I don't even know if Kuonji is his first name or last name, but here I'm using it as his first name. If anyone knows his full name, please let me know.**

**Author's Note: Soooo, how was it? Hope you guys liked it. Also, to those NatsuMikan fans out there, I can't guarantee that this will be a NatsuMikan fanfic. In fact, she's **_**probably **_**not going to end up with him. Nonetheless, I hope you guys enjoy this story once it's finished. Anyway, don't forget to REViEW! **

**Flames are gladly accepted. :)**


	2. The Dangerous Ability Class and Missions

**WARNING:**** Possible OOC.**

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**Chapter Two: The Dangerous Ability Class and Missions**

**-**

"Mikan?" I heard the youthful, golden-haired sensei of mine say.

I look at him, just realizing that I unconsciously grabbed his shirt. "A-Ah, sorry to bother you! See you again soon," I said and ran away. What was I thinking? I should have more control over myself! I need to distance myself from him more.

I ran to the Northern Forest, to the lake that I went to most of the time to hide out.

I jumped up on a tree branch and went higher and higher. I sat down when I couldn't get anymore higher.

I wondered whether I would finally be free and unconstrained from this academy when I graduate high school. I wanted to leave as soon as possible… I sighed at the thought of enduring three-four more years here.

Staring at the natural scenery before me, the shimmering lake and the dancing tree leaves being blown by the wind calmed me. If only life was really this peaceful…

I feel empty and purposeless. It's like I'm bound to this academy and that cursed principal for my entire life. Just the thought of that man makes my blood boil and makes my skin crawl at the same time.

I stood on the tree branch and dove into the lake from that great height. _The water feels good, _I thought as I fell a bit deeper into the lake. Its cool temperature relaxes me whenever I'm angry —or at least, most of the time, it does.

I swam up and resurfaced, floating on the water and staring up at the blue sky. It was sunny today with a few puffy clouds floating around.

I paddled my feet to keep myself on the water, letting it carry me gently.

My entire uniform was wet, but I didn't care. Being the special-star that I am now, I could buy as many as I want. I sighed once again. I was told that every time I sigh my life shortens or something like that. It was probably my grandpa who said it, but that doesn't matter anymore.

I could care less if I die. I don't even know why I bother to stay alive. Maybe it's to see how far I can go. To know what my limit is; how much I can take until I break down. Whatever . . .

I swam slowly to the bank of the lake and got out. Time to go back to class. I know I can't miss this class or else I'd have to "face the consequences." Again. Simply because Persona says so.

Next class: Dangerous Ability Type Class.

--

I opened the doors to the designated classroom wide open and casually walked in.

The class was rowdy, as usual. Of course, Persona wasn't here yet, or else they would behave themselves more. I walked to my seat next to Nobara, my hair drenched and my clothes and shoes soaked with water from the lake. Water dropped on the floor with every step that I took.

The idiotic male species whistled as I walked passed by them. I was pretty sure that it was because my clothes were pressed against my body and my blouse was now see-through. Like with most things, I didn't give a damn.

"Hi, Nobara-chan," I greeted and smiled warmly at my senpai and best friend. "Do you mind if I still sit here even if my clothes are wet?"

"Not at all, Mikan-chan," she said with her soft voice. I sat down and rested my head on the table, waiting for that damn Persona.

I felt a big piece of clothing tossed on my back. "Mikan-chan! There are some perverted, idiotic guys here you know," his masculine voice came. It was Tsubasa-senpai.

I sat up straight and looked up at him. "It's alright, Tsubasa-senpai. I don't mind."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Just wear it," he said stubbornly and fixed his blazer that he threw on me earlier to cover whatever the hell was showing.

"Senpai, it's really okay," I told him, but he wouldn't listen. His cheeks had a tinge of pink on them.

"I'm a guy too, you know," he said in a low voice.

"Oh. Sorry . . ."

Out of nowhere, demons started chasing Tsubasa-senpai and he made a run for it. The only demon summoner in this class is of course, none other than little Hijiri Youichi. He always tries to get Tsubasa-senpai away from me if he thinks that senpai is getting "too close" to me. I don't exactly know why he does it.

I looked over at the little grey-haired seven year old standing not so far away with an expressionless look. He looks almost exactly like Natsume . . .

"Oi, didn't I tell you not to let him get close to you?" You-chan arched a brow at me, a fixated look on his face. He walked to my side and stared at me with his onyx eyes.

I huffed playfully. "And why shouldn't I? I don't have to listen to you." I got out of my seat and crouched down to his level. "Could it be that the reason why you don't want any guys—_especially _Tsubasa-senpai—to get close to me is that you have a crush on me?" I teased and feigned surprise.

"Old hag. I would never like you." He turned to walk away back to his seat and stopped in his tracks. He turned his head and looked at me, still crouching on the floor and added, "Ugly," and began to walk away again.

I slumped back onto my chair. _That kid really is like Natsume, _I thought, wondering if You-chan would be exactly like Natsume is when he's older. _Natsume . . . I wonder how he's doing..._

Nobara-chan's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and drew me back to reality. "Mikan-chan, you should really dry yourself."

I looked at her: she had a worried look on her face. Her eyes pleaded me to do what she was asking. She's really cute. It's hard to believe that she's the Ice Princess of the Dangerous Ability Class. She seriously has the face of an angel. Well, at least what I think an angel would look like.

"If you don't change and dry yourself now, you could get pneumonia or something." A frown was spread out on her adorable face.

Now, I can't believe that there are _two _"princesses" in this class. It's stupid but some idiots started referring to me as the "Thieving Princess." Other times they would refer to me as the "Princess of the Roses"; they said that it fits me because I'm _supposedly _good-looking and can't be reached because of my Alices, which represent the thorns of a rose, keeping people away. Other times they just refer to me as the "Nullification Girl" or the "CSE Girl," CSE meaning copying, stealing, and erasing for my second Alice. I wish they would just call me by my name: Sakura Mikan.

I looked back at the Ice Princess sitting beside me. "Don't worry about it Nobara-chan," I exclaimed and smiled warmly. My smiles always make her feels at least a bit more at ease. I know because I accidentally read her mind once… Yes, it really was an accident. I would never go prying into her personal and inner thoughts. She's my precious friend, so why the hell would I even think of that?

"Argh, stay away from me, you gay bastard!" I heard Tsubasa-senpai shout. A loud thud was also heard.

Amane Rui-senpai tried to get close to him again. I laughed. It's always funny when Amane-senpai tries to hug poor Tsubasa-senpai or something. The loud thud was Amane-senpai falling on the floor.

"You only show affections toward Mikan," Amane-senpai snorted.

Tsubasa-senpai turned a bit red again. "Like I would show affections to a guy who put a freakin' curse mark on my cheek!" Tsubasa-senpai shouted, getting farther from Rui.

"I'll take it off you if you come here."

"No!"

I turned away from the two arguing people. I'm still not that fond of Amane Rui-senpai, but he's pretty much okay now. I used to hate him a lot when I just started this class that I even tried to use different Alices to try and injure him.

The door squeaked open and the whole room fell silent. Persona has arrived.

Everyone scrambled to their seats like mice.

"I assume that you've all been good and behaved?" The masked man walked to the front of the room. I saw him glance at me cautiously. "Sakura."

"Hai."

"Mission. Tomorrow night. Details after class." He looked around the room. "Hayate. Nobara. And... Andou. You three also have separate missions. All others who I haven't called don't have anything to do until further notice. Of course, you still have to train... We don't need any of you getting caught by the enemy now."

-

After class, I followed him as I was told, waiting to know more about my mission. He ordered me to change into something decent, not wanting to present me to the principal since I was soaking wet and all. I obeyed without question, teleported to my room and changed into a different uniform.

I tagged along behind him quietly, hearing only the clicking of his shoes against the cold, tiled floor. I stared at his back with scorn and contempt: we were heading toward Principal Kuonji's office. I scowled; Persona knew how much I hated him and has been trying to make my life as miserable as possible because I managed to let him lose control of his Alice before that it even started to affect himself.

But he knows he has to be cautious around me. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm stronger, smarter, and more experienced.

Persona knocked on the door thrice and said, "It's Persona. I brought her."

A faint "Enter" was heard from the principal.

Persona turned the door knob and ushered me to go in first. I didn't want to, thinking that I'd be left alone in there, but he shoved me lightly since I was just standing still in the doorway. I started to panic, but calmed down after seeing Persona come in right after me.

"Have a seat, _Mikan_," said the teenage-looking principal. I hate it how he says my name. It always manages to send chills down my spine. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I sat down in one of the two seats in front of his desk. Persona stood a bit behind me; Principal Kuonji motioned for him to take a seat as well, and he did as he was told.

"_Mikan,_" he said again, his eyes focused on me. "Tomorrow night's mission isn't going to be easy. I would usually send two people on a mission like this, but I want to see how much you can handle. If you look like you're in trouble, someone will come to your aide immediately." His lips formed a sly grin. "If you succeed, then you'll be sent to harder missions and you'll be able to go on most missions by yourself."

I simply nodded to show that I was listening attentively. If I went on missions by myself, then that would put the other members of the Dangerous Ability Class into less danger.

He spun his chair by 180 degrees, now facing the window with the back of the chair toward us. "Your mission is to obtain the blueprints of a pending invention that an organization has. They're planning on trying to bring the academy down with that little invention of theirs. When you get the blueprints, destroy their hideout and return. Remember not to take this mission lightly."

"Hai," I answered.

"That is all. You're dismissed."

I walked out of the room; Persona stayed inside. I could care less about what they were going to talk about. I just wanted to get away from that principal as soon as possible. I picked up my pace, heading towards the cafeteria.

I only had lunch with people who were in the same grade as me. I rushed to my usual table; Ruka-pyon and Akira were the only ones there.

"Hi, Ruka-pyon. Hi, Akira," I said when I got there.

Akira is part of the Dangerous Ability Class, too, and he's in the same grade as me. He came to the academy about two years ago, when I was twelve. He has the Fire Alice as well, except the fire for his Alice is blue and almost invisible, like the innermost part of a flame. It also can be cold fire. He has nice, soft silver hair. Sometimes I wonder if he takes care of his hair or not. His eyes are of a dazzling sapphire blue color. He might seem cold and uncaring at times, but he's actually nice and caring in the inside—that is, once you get past the arrogance, the conceit, and all those other things. There are times when his personality reminds me of Natsume…

"Hi, Mikan," the blonde animal-lover greeted and smiled.

Akira on the other hand said, "Yo."

I pulled out a chair and sat myself down. "When did you get back from your mission, Akira?"

"Just now."

"What?!" I exclaimed. "Are you hurt anywhere? Why didn't you go to the hospital first? Did you report back to Persona yet?" I bombarded him with questions, becoming more and more worried with each passing second. This guy really doesn't know how to take care of himself.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going," he muttered. He got up lazily, gripping his arm tightly.

I grabbed onto his arm and vehemently yanked his other hand off of it. He was bleeding. I made him sit back down and started to heal him a bit before bringing him to the hospital.

"Idiot."

He grunted. "I bet that Natsume guy didn't have to get healed by you like this."

I shook my head. "Akira, don't start with that…" Natsume was an idiot, too. He always put others before him, not letting anyone see the pain that he was going through, suffering all by himself. He acted cold and distanced himself from others in order to protect them... Really, that idiot . . .

_Where are you now, Natsume? Are you taking better care of yourself? _I asked silently, as if he would even hear me.

***

I panted heavily, running to hide behind some stuff. This mission _is _hard. But I'm almost done. Just a little bit more…

I already have the blueprints. There were people who were still in the hideout, but I have no choice. I have to blow it up now. Using the small amount of stamina that I had left, I blew up the place. The people who were still in there were already dead. There's no way they could have survived.

Once again, I made my hands dirtier, stained with blood and the crime of killing another. I _do _feel guilty, but I have no choice. I have to do what I have to do.

I pushed myself even more and used the Teleportation Alice. I was back to the academy, but I wasn't in my room or anywhere near it. I was pretty sure that I was near _a _dorm, but I had no idea which one.

I spotted someone's balcony doors that were open. I climbed up to that balcony with much fatigue. I opened the doors slowly, and wanted to ask the sleeping person to help me. But before I could do so, everything turned black.

**Author's Note: There's chapter two. Hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to update on a weekly basis, but I probably won't be updating next week because I'm going on my senior trip. :D Possible pairings for this story: MikanxNarumi, MikanxNatsume, MikanxTsubasa, MikanxAkira. ;D Tell me what you think. Like I said before, I can't guarantee that this will be a MikanxNatsume fic. Hell, Natsume's not even here... yet. That's all for now.**

**Review please. :)**

**Ja!**

**-Aimee**


	3. He's Back

**WARNING:**** OOCness. You have been warned.**

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**Chapter Three: He's Back**

**-**

_Food, _I thought, smelling the sweet scent of homemade breakfast and hearing the soft crackling noises of oil from someone's cooking. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at the ceiling and lying down on a huge, soft bed. I sat up immediately after realizing that I had collapsed in some unknown person's room. I looked at the clothes I was wearing: they weren't the same as the ones that I wore last night. Someone must have changed my clothes for me. But . . . Who did?

"Ah, Mikan, you're awake," an oh-so familiar masculine voice said.

_Narumi-sensei. _My eyes widened a bit. I didn't know whether to think of me collapsing in his room as lucky or unlucky.

My stomach growled. I blushed out of embarrassment and heard sensei laugh. _Stupid stomach... Why now, of all times?_

"Come. Eat," he said and ushered me to his nearby kitchen. "Time for some brunch." He pulled out a chair for me and I sat down; he sat across from me.

I quietly took a little bit of everything: eggs, bacon, sausages, and of course, rice—no meal would be complete without rice. It was embarrassing since I looked like such a pig, but I couldn't help it. I was really hungry. And the mission really took a lot out of me. _And _the food just smelled really good that it tempted me to eat it. I tried to eat quicker that usual; even though I wanted to stay here with Naru-sensei, I still needed to report back to Persona and the principal right away.

The shifting noises of Naru-sensei eating stopped. I stole a quick glance at him and found him staring at me with such an apologetic expression on his face. The atmosphere suddenly grew tense. "Mikan, I'm sorry," he said softly and sighed heavily. He dropped his eating utensils and looked down.

I swallowed the large chunk of food that was in my mouth, nearly choking. "For what, Naru-sensei?" I tilted my head to the side, feigning ignorance.

"I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry..."

I finished the little bit of food that I had left and walked to his side. "It's okay, Naru-sensei," I said in a soothing voice. I might not know all about it, but he must be having a hard time too, just like me, Natsume, Ruka... Everyone... "It's not your fault," I said and smiled warmly at him.

He faced me, his expression becoming calmer.

"I have to go," I said and quickly kissed his forehead, which I _probably _shouldn't have done but did anyway. Not wanting to know how he would react and embarrassed once again by my own actions, I disappeared before he even had the chance to say anything.

I teleported myself to my room even though I wasn't exactly in the best condition to use my second Alice. My cheeks felt hot and I felt my heart pounding hard against my chest.

That was really . . . bold of me, I guess. I sighed and jumped onto my bed, burying my face into a pillow.

God, how stupid can I be? I don't even know what I'm doing any more. First I'm all sweet to him and treat him like a father-figure. Then I fall in love with him, then act coldly towards him to protect him, and now I show affections to him again. Idiot, idiot, idiot! He must be confused with me . . .

I sighed yet again. _I don't know what to do with myself . . ._

I flipped myself over and spread out my legs and arms, my body forming a star-like shape. I stared at the ceiling, thinking of how much more of an idiot I could possibly be.

I then got up and jumped back off my bed, just remembering that it was already almost noon and that I still had to report back to Persona and the principal. _Shit. _I bet that they won't fail to mention my tardiness to report. I quickly got dressed into something decent and rushed to the Primary Division.

--

I clutched the blueprints in my right hand tightly and entered Principal Kuonji's office quietly. I felt my heart begin to pound wildly and rapidly in my chest, my breathing becoming unsteady. Fear. I was afraid of the principal. It wasn't purely fear but hate, spite, and anger as well. In this academy, he was superior and I was nothing compared to him. The mere thought of him and what he could do and has done to me made a rush of emotions come to me: not just fear, but also anger, sadness, pain, and other emotions that are indescribable with words. I used to think that I had the ability to beat the crap out of him easily, but I was wrong.

He has too many pawns. Almost like the pieces of a chess board: him as the King, and everyone else being sacrifices to protect him at all costs. Despite having his "pawns" and being fully aware of the consequences, sometimes I have the urge to hurt him with any one of my Alices (or any one of them that I stole anyway), especially when I'm just too downright angry to even care about what I'm doing. I did it a few times and, well, let's just say it wasn't very pleasant for either of us.

Anyway, luckily for me, the Primary Division's principal was already engrossed in a serious conversation with Persona, obviously discussing something important.

I dropped the blueprints on top of his desk and turned to leave but stopped when he began to speak. "It's almost noon. What took you so long, _Mikan?_"

How I hate that voice of his and how he says my name. It makes me want to puke. I turned around, putting on my poker face. "I rested last night. I was... tired. I apologize for my lateness."

"Apologize?" He raised an eyebrow at me and chuckled. "A mere apology just won't do." He looked at Persona and smirk grew on his face. "Maybe you do need a partner after all, _Mikan,_ since you can't even handle retrieval missions like these on your own."

"No!" I burst out. _No, no, no, no, no! _I can't have anyone going on missions with me and getting hurt. For all I know, they could be a burden instead of help! No one needs to join the darkness. Just like how Natsume wanted me to stay away from him in order for me not to see it. My emotions became a bit calmer once I remembered how Natsume always tried to keep people away from him.

_I'm sorry, Natsume . _. . I was both sorry and guilty for entering the world of darkness that he tried so hard to keep me away from. Now all his efforts have gone to naught.

The principal had an amused look in his eyes. "It's decided then, you'll be getting a partner. You'll be meeting him on your next mission, tonight." I swear that this guy is a freakin' sadist. He gets entertained from seeing me suffer. I know it; I just do.

Wait a minute... Did he just say..? "Tonight?" I blurted out. "Impossible! I can't... But I just came back last night! You can't possibly expect me to go on another mission right away!" I looked at him wide-eyed with an exasperated expression. Really. I could get captured or severely injured or something! I'm not ready! What. The. Fuck.

"Well then, you'll have to get as much rest as possible for the rest of the day, am I right? It's a Saturday so I don't think you'll be busy with classes or the like. Be at the front gate by ten o'clock tonight."

"But—" I tried to protest. I stopped when his dark eyes were focused on me. I felt a bead of cold sweat run down from my forehead.

"You are dismissed," he said threateningly.

I nodded and felt my feet walk to the door, as if they had a mind of their own. When I got outside and shut the door behind me, I slid against the cold wall and breathed heavily. Exactly how much power does he have on me? I shrugged and walked to my room to rest for tonight; I didn't want to use my Alice since I'm probably going to need it tonight.

When I got to my room, I jumped onto my king-sized bed. It's just about the only thing that I can do to calm myself down and relax for certain things. I laid down flat on my back, staring at the white ceiling. Yes, again. I guess that staring at the ceiling has become a habit when I need to think... Oh, I don't know...

I turned to my side and wondered what kind of mission I had to do tonight. I wondered if Kuonji was serious about giving me a partner. I wondered what kind of person my partner would be if I really had one. Hell, I wondered a lot of things, especially why I'm such an idiot!

I mentally slapped myself.

I could be living a carefree life right now, if I had only followed those who tried to protect me. But I just had to ignore everything that they've done for me. Really, I am such an idiot. Idiot Mikan, like everyone has said. My mother tried to protect me and leave me somewhere far, far away where I would never learn a thing about Alices or this damned school. Natsume tried to protect me by keeping his distance from me. Narumi-sensei. Hotaru. Everyone.

_Ugh!_

I stared back at the ceiling and before I knew it, I drifted off to sleep.

***

Everything around me was black. I tried to cry out for help and yelled at the top of my lungs, but no sound came out. I tried again, but still nothing. I tried to run, searching for light, but it seemed as if I wasn't moving at all. I tried to run faster, but there was no change. I fell down on my knees. Darkness enveloped me. No one was here. No one was here to protect me…

A light appeared out of nowhere, and from that blur of light came Hotaru. I smiled, relieved. Then Ruka. Natsume. Okaa-san. Narumi-sensei. My smile grew wider and I stood up, getting ready to run to them. I was happy that I wasn't alone in this unknown place. They're here; they're all here. My friends, family, loved ones. I ran and ran, but they just seemed to be getting farther away from me by the minute.

I picked up my pace and held out my hand, trying to reach them, but it was no use.

I heard an eerie laugh coming out of nowhere and echoing all around in the darkness. I felt my heart begin to race once again. I froze on the spot upon seeing _him._

There he was, standing tall and was abnormally enormous. He took the little blur of light and those who were precious to me in his palm and crushed them, laughing with pleasure while doing so. I tried to yell "No!" But still no sound came from my throat. I tried again. And again. And again. _Why?_

I felt tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Help . . . me," someone said faintly.

I quickly spun around to see who it was. My eyes widened. _Natsume. _He was kneeling down, his clothes stained with blood and had more blood streaming from his head. He was severely injured. He was scathed on almost every visible part of his body. I ran to him, but just when I was about to reach him, he disappeared into thin air.

"Mikan..." Another faint voice.

I turned around, frantically searching for the source of the voice. _Ojii-chan._ I ran to him as fast as I could when I saw his weak and frail figure. But like what happened with Natsume, he too, disappeared when I was just about to reach him.

"Mikan," another voice said. But this voice was different. It was sounded somewhat . . . Playful..?

I ran to the figure whose back was turned to me. It was a male. He had black hair. I reached him and placed my hand firmly on his shoulder. He didn't disappear like the others.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

The figure turned to face me. I let out a shriek. It was the ESP*. On his face was such a sinister and malicious look.

I sat up quickly on my bed, panting. _It was all... a dream? _I looked at the clock on the night stand. "Crap." It was already 9:23 PM. Almost time for me to get to the front gates for my mission.

I jumped out of bed immediately and rushed to get ready. It took some time, but when I finished, I hurried to the front gates.

"You're just on time," Persona said when I got there.

_Thank God, _I thought, trying to catch my breath.

"This is another retrieval mission. You need to get a book called _Alices: the Known and the Unknown. _I don't really know what it looks like, but I'm sure you'll be able to find it. Leave no witnesses alive—no one within a 25 feet radius. Not a soul, understand?"

"Hai."

He turned around and began to walk away. "And make sure to do a better job than last time, ne?" He chuckled. How I hate his sarcasm. One day, I swear to injure this damned idiot and make him live life like he was in hell. "Oh," he added, "you'll meet your partner soon enough. He's probably already on his way to the designated site as we speak."

I grunted. _Partner, huh. So it's a guy... I wonder what he's like... _I hopped into the black car that was to bring me to the location of _Alices: the Known and the Unknown _or whatever it was called. I just hope that this partner of mine doesn't get in my way. I don't need any burdens.

I watched the trees and other objects become blurry as we swiftly passed by them. The only thing that wasn't blurry was the night sky with its stars and the crescent moon that was out tonight. Again, I began to muse about several things just by looking at the dark blue blanket that was spread across the sky. Soon enough, the blurry images slowly became sharp and clear again, which meant that we were slowing down. We were at the destination site.

"Good luck," I heard the driver say just as I got out of the car. He drove away at a great speed as soon as I shut the door shut.

The wind howled, blowing my loose hair about. A few clouds covered the moon and I begun my mission. I hid in the shadows, moving as surreptitiously as possible. I opened the huge door of the five story building, which was most likely where the book was hidden. As I opened the door, it made a loud creaking noise.

_Shit, _I quickly dashed and hid behind boxes that were piled up on top of each other.

"Who's there?!" I heard someone say.

I took a quick peek at my potential enemies. There were two of them. Men who were probably around their early twenties. One of them, the bald one with a dragon tattoo on his overly muscular arm, moved his flashlight about, trying to find my hiding place. "Come out!" he ordered.

The other one was wearing a black suit and had his hair tied back in a ponytail. He kept quiet and just stood back. I made a mental note to myself to be more careful of him than the muscular guy. The silent ones are always more dangerous than the noisy, idiotic ones.

"Over there," he said in a reserved tone and pointed in the direction I was hiding.

_How the hell did he know? _I asked myself and got ready for combat. Within seconds, the boxes behind me were lifted into the air and thrown toward me. I jumped on top of each one of them, nearly getting hit several times.

Sirens went off, and a voice on the speaker kept repeating: "Security breached! Security breached!" That was just great. Now everyone knew that I was here. I put up both my Nullification Alice and my CSE Alice; I tried to keep them on a low level earlier so that my presence wouldn't be sensed, but I guess that I don't have anything to hide any longer.

I froze the two men on spot; as I thought, the guy in the ponytail was a bit harder to keep put than the other guy, but I managed to keep him in place with Nobara's Ice Alice. I knocked them out using a Voice Pheromone Alice that was similar to Reo's, but I only used it at a low level since I know that using the CSE Alice takes a lot out of me.

I rushed to the second floor, only to be greeted by about fifteen thugs, waiting to capture me. They didn't bother to hide their Alices: it was all out in the open. This really isn't going to be easy. They all attacked me at once.

I braced myself.

Out of nowhere, a ring of fire surrounded me, keeping the enemies away.

A masculine figure appeared beside me.

I stared at his back.

My eyes widened in disbelief once I saw what was on his right ear: a cuff earring.

_It can't be, _I thought, standing still out of this sudden encounter. _My new partner is… _I couldn't even bring myself to finish the sentence in my head.

"Yo," he said, facing me. He took off his mask—the mask of a black cat, revealing his face to me.

"Natsume," I breathed out.

***Elementary School Principal**

**Author's Note: Chapter three is done. :) I**_** would **_**tell you to review or else I won't update, but dammit, I have to resist that urge. :( Because I want you guys to review only if you want to: surely you'll review if it's a good story. So until that happens, then I'll keep trying to improve my stories! Yeaaah. & I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes; I haven't proofread this yet and will be going to sleep momentarily. Well, I'll try to update in about a week or two. I hope you guys liked this chapter! **

**Review please. :) Flames are highly accepted.**

**Ja!**

**-Aimee**


	4. A Trip Down Memory Lane

**WARNING:**** OOCness. You have been warned.**

--

-

**Chapter Four: A Trip Down Memory Lane**

**-**

"Well, what are you waiting for, little girl? We have a mission to do."

"Y-You're my new partner?!" I gawked at the sight of him. This wasn't a dream that I would have to wake up from soon. It was really him: Natsume was standing before me in the flesh; the real thing. I haven't seen him for so long.

I took in his full figure from head to toe; he's grown a lot more since I last saw him. But of course, that should be expected. He's probably around six feet tall now.

"Obviously," he replied monotonously. He dispersed the ring of fire surrounding us and began attacking the enemy.

I rushed to his side to help him. I made two long, sharp icicle dirks and held them both in my two hands. I reluctantly stabbed one enemy in the stomach: a vital organ; and slashed the throat of another who was rapidly approaching me. I heard the latter make gurgling sounds within the few seconds he had left to live, watching both spill blood, staining the floor and everything around them. I didn't want to do it, but I had to. Orders are orders; they were villains anyway, so it doesn't really matter that much, I guess…

One man had made his arms into pointed metal things that looked somewhat like swords and slashed my arm, almost giving me a critical blow. He kept advancing, slashing his sword arms at me, forcing me to me to step backward again and again. I felt my back against Natsume's; we were cornered.

"Can you nullify all these people at once?" he whispered.

"Yes."

"Good. Do it when I give you the signal." My eyes were glued onto him, watching his every move very carefully, not wanting to mess things up. "Now!"

I held out my arms and released my Nullification Alice, canceling out all of the remaining standing men's Alices, leaving them confused. I panted heavily; that took a bit of energy out me. It's really tiring when I do that and haven't had enough rest.

In an instant, I saw each and everyone of them bathed in Natsume's flames, yelling in agony and pain. I covered my nose to keep some of the stench of their burning flesh out and to keep myself from inhaling the smoke.

The flames disappeared and all that was left was their ashes. I stared at Natsume's face again; he had no trace of regret or pity in his eyes.

"What?"

"You're . . . Amazing."

He chuckled. "I know." He headed for the stairs and continued on his way upstairs, where the book was. I huffed, being a bit bothered that he didn't even look back to see if I was following him. I guess he's still the same obnoxious Natsume.

From there on, everything just seemed to happen so fast. We were on one floor for a few seconds and quickly proceeded to the next before two minutes could pass. Before I knew it, I was holding the book that we had to get; and we were standing a few feet away from the enemy's hideout, which Natsume blew up within a matter of seconds. I looked at him with wide eyes, my mouth hanging partially open.

"You're back. You're really back," I said and nearly dropped the book I was holding. I felt my lips quiver when I talked and felt the hair on the nape of my neck stand up out of pure excitement, the thrilling feeling inside me welling up; I couldn't keep it subsided any longer.

I don't know why, but I hugged him tightly, inhaling his cologne in. I have to admit, I really did miss him though. He actually even hugged me back, his strong arms safe and welcoming.

"Yeah, I am."

"I missed you, _Natsume-kun_."

It was silent for a while and we stayed embracing each other. I broke from the hug soon enough and flashed one of my old sweet smiles at him. I thought I saw him smile back at me and rubbed my eyes to make sure, but he had already turned his back to me by the time I stopped to look at him again. I'm pretty sure I heard a faint "I missed you too," from him though, which made me happy.

"So how are we getting back home, polka dots?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're still calling me that?"

"Of course. Idiotic little girl."

I folded my arms across my chest and looked away, feeling the night breeze blow once again. It was a nice, cool feeling, indeed… "I'll have you know that I don't wear polka dot printed panties any more, Black Cat," I snorted.

He faced me again. "Then what kind of panties do you wear now?" he teased and neared me, his infamous smirk on his lips once again. I stuck out my tongue at him like a child and evaded his touch once he tried to steal a peek at what kind of underwear I wear.

_It's as if he had never left…_

"I'm not the same person you used to know," I told him, wearing my poker face. He's still the same Natsume. I am still Mikan but a better, wiser, and more experienced person. I can't let him tease me like that when I already have my feelings set for Naru-sensei; it's just not right.

Judging by his expression, he was very confused and demanded an explanation immediately. "A lot of things have changed, that's all," I said blankly, my eyes staring into his ruby ones. I saw my reflection in them and shook my head. We were tired. He didn't need to hear any of this right now. He'll know soon enough. "Let's go back to the academy."

"When is the car going to get here?"

"It's not coming. I'll teleport us back to the academy." I took hold of his hand and inhaled deeply, knowing how much energy I would waste on this one trip. I used my CSE Alice and we were back to the academy grounds. I brought us to the same spot where I had teleported myself last night, near the teachers' dormitory.

"When did you— never mind. I forgot about your second Alice."

"Yeah," I smiled at him, my expression soft once again. "We should go get some rest now," I told him as gentle as I possibly could. Narumi-sensei's room was so close and I wanted to get there as soon as possible. Maybe he would let me rest in his room again…

He stayed quiet, observing his surroundings and taking it all in. "It feels like I haven't been here for ages," he said to himself.

I let out a little chuckle. It was ironic how it seemed like he missed the school for being away from it for so long and how it seemed like he was actually interested in the academy when he used to hate it with a burning passion, almost as hot as his very own Alice. \

Did he miss me as much as this school? And Ruka? And everyone else? Ah, it would be unsurprising if he remembered how much he hated this school very soon and began to rebel once again. A feisty Natsume is very irritating albeit entertaining.

"Come," he said and took hold of my hand, not bothering to see whether I even wanted to go with him or not. I tried to stop him but it was too late. He already began to dash away, dragging me along to wherever he felt like going. I couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed that he did this, but I guess it doesn't matter that much since I've just been reunited with him again.

Still, he should learn to be considerate about other people's feelings too. _Insensitive, good-looking bastard._

I opened my mouth to speak, but he had already said something before me. "It's just going to be the two of us, polka dots."

"Where exactly are we going? And will you please let go of my hand?"

"You'll see." He looked back and me briefly and smirked then resumed running off casually again. "What are you talking about? I let it go a long time ago. Don't tell me that you _want _me to hold your hand. Hm?"

I arched an eyebrow. Is it just me or did Natsume become more teasing and playful? I'm pretty sure it's not me so it has to be the latter. Or maybe it wasn't either of those reasons; _maybe,_ just maybe, he wasn't feeling too good and thus his strange attitude. "Are you okay, Natsume-kun?"

I received a "Hn," as a reply and assumed that meant 'yes.'

He halted abruptly, causing me to hit my face on his hard, muscular back and fall down to the ground on my arse. I helped myself up, rubbing my poor arse and silently swearing.

"Do you know where we are?" he asked all of a sudden, making me concentrate on what he said. I looked around carefully to see if any part of where we were seemed familiar in any way. I half-smiled, memories of the place rushing back to me. I pointed to a white building not so far from where we stood. "That was where we had our Christmas Dance," I said. "We danced together, remember?"

I froze, remembering another thing. The Primary Division Principal; I also danced with him there. He purposely removed my mask that was not supposed to be allowed to be taken off while dancing or else I was to lose something important… I grimaced at the thought. It's his fault. It's all his fault…

"You gave me a 'tooth kiss,' " he remarked, quoting what I said before and drawing me away from my horrendous thoughts about the principal.I just realized that he was making fun of me and let out a "Hey!"

"And this tree," he noted, suddenly appearing behind me and indirectly forcing me to back up against the tree he was speaking of, "this tree, do you remember it?" Yet again, I don't know how he did it, but he managed to have me against the tree and tower over me, leaving me uneasy with his closeness.

I looked up at the tree with its thick high branches then back at Natsume. "No, I don't."

A look of disappointment flashed in his eyes. He covered them with the shadow of his bangs. Not before long, he stared deep into mine, his mesmerizing crimson eyes full of expression. "Let me remind you," he said faintly.

Before I could say more, I felt his warm lips on mine which tasted sweet and delightful. I remembered Naru-sensei and tried to push him away, but my effort was futile. He ignored my attempt to break free and continued doing what he pleased, his tongue begging for entrance. I opened my mouth to gasp for air and tell him to stop, but he seized that opportunity and shoved his tongue into my mouth, exploring every bit of it. I stopped struggling little by little: it was all his fault for being such a damn good kisser.

Finally he let me go; leaving me gasping for air. "Natsume, please don't... do such... things..." I said in between my gasps for air. Yes, I'll admit that his kiss made me feel good and made me want to melt right then and there, but I don't want it. I don't. I don't. I really don't. What I want... is no one other than Naru-sensei...

He looked at me with a hint of annoyance, his eyes piercing like daggers. "And why not?" he asked bitterly.

"Because," I looked away, not wanting to feel the pressure of his gaze on me, "I already have someone who I love…" I heard my voice trail off. I stole a peek at him, not being able to keep myself from looking at him and how he would react: his face showed both shock and anger, his hands balled tightly into fists.

He turned his back to me; his back which I stayed behind countless times for protection and comfort, more time than Hotaru and even Narumi-sensei. "This is where I stole your first kiss," he spat out, beginning to walk away. "You are mine," I heard him state while watching his retreating back disappear into the distance.

I touched my lips absent-mindedly, the sensation of his kiss still there. 'You are mine,' he said. A raging feeling began to well up in me. _I'm his? I'm _his_?! _What, am I an object of possession now? Is that what I am? I don't think so.

I, Sakura Mikan, belong to no one but my own self. I would sell my soul to the devil before I become treated as someone's possession.

Today, I found out that the feeling I first had for Natsume still existed and had just resurfaced: extreme dislike. Distance and time apart from each other changes things, I guess. But that's the way how life is. I accept that. Kuonji might think of me as his as well, but just wait. Just wait until I become older and grow stronger; then I'll show you all.

I headed back to Narumi-sensei's room, hoping that seeing him would make all this negativity disappear and just float away. Narumi-sensei who has been there for me since day one…

---

**Author's Note: Chapter four is doneeee. I hope it didn't disappoint you guys; partially dedicated to Venus Syrinx: (belated) happy birthday. :) Like I said before, possible pairings are: MikanNarumi MikanNatsume MikanAkira. If you have anything to say, go right ahead. I hope you, reader, continue to read and enjoy this fan fiction.**

**Review please. :) Flames are highly accepted.**

**Ja!**

**-Aimee**


	5. Yes, It's Hyuuga Natsume in the Flesh

-

**Chapter Five: Yes, It's Hyuuga Natsume in the Flesh**

**-**

I tapped my knuckles lightly on the doors of his room, not wanting to make much noise. "Narumi-sensei?" I asked softly, waiting for him to reply. It was already late at night but wanted to stay with him again. I don't want to be a bother though, so I'll just leave if he's already asleep. I knocked again, just a bit louder this time. Waited. Still no reply. I sighed in disappointment and turned to walk away, taking one last glance at his door room before I left.

"Good night, Naru-sensei," I whispered and continued to walk away.

I heard a low creaking sound then a shuffling sound, wondering what is was while I became farther and farther apart from Sensei. "Mikan, is that you?" his drowsy voice came.

I immediately turned around and couldn't help but smile upon hearing his voice. There he stood, barefoot, his golden yellow hair was unruly, just like his shirt which partially revealed some of his hidden chest muscles. I felt blood rush to my cheeks, making them feel hotter and hotter each passing second. "Yes, it is," I answered, my eyes glued to the ground because of embarrassment.

Yes, I was flustered. _Why does he have to look so_— _so_— _so_— _wonderful? Holy crap, I just used the word 'wonderful.'_

"Did you just come back a mission?" He yawned and rubbed his eyes slowly, obviously trying to fight his sleepiness.

I nodded. "Yeah. Sorry for disturbing you. I guess I'll go leave now," I said and laughed nervously. I didn't really want to go, but he was just making me really embarrassed probably without even knowing it. Is what I'm feeling right now... Is it "love"? He often makes me blush, my heart feels like it could jump out of my chest any second when he's near, and he makes my stomach feel as if it has butterflies wildly flying around in there.

"Would you like to sleep over again?" he asked, a bit of hesitance in his voice. I turned around and faced him: he was looking down at the floor, leaning against the frame of his doorway, one hand placed on the nape on his neck. Was he by any chance embarrassed as well?

I shook my head, since that wasn't possible. . . Right?

But what he was right about was that I _did _want to stay over at his room. Again. That was kind of the whole reasons why I came here. That and because I _kind of _wanted to calm down because of the whole thing that just happened with Natsume. The kiss and everything.

"Can I?" I asked sheepishly, not wanting to look directly at him.

"Of course," he said, a smile in his voice. _He said 'Of course.'_ I felt a grin form on my face, so I tried to hide it since I didn't want to seem desperate or overly delighted (even though I'll admit that I am) since it might creep him out or something.

"Come," he stepped aside, welcoming me in.

I slowly walked inside, hearing the door shut closed.

"Um, you must be really tired from your mission, having two of them in a row and going by yourself. Do you need anything?"

I shook my head, my brown hair moving in the same motion.

"Oh. Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"Okay. Thanks Naru-sensei."

He remained standing near the door, just looking at me. I blushed and looked away. "Eto... If you need pajamas I have some in my room. Just take it from the drawer, okay?" He scratched the back of his head and walked past me swiftly while going to his bedroom.

I blinked. I think I saw him blushing. _Why would he... _My head immediately snapped up. _Last night. He changed my clothes. Did he see... 'anything'? _I felt my cheeks become really hot again.

I inhaled. _I smell like sweat. _I walked into his room shortly afterward to get some pajamas from his drawers. I blushed again when I saw what was on top of his drawer; it was convenient, but very embarrassing: the clothes that I left last night. They were laundered. Which also included my undergarments, by the way.

I grabbed a towel from his linen closet and went into his bathroom which smelled like soap. I chuckled upon seeing the brand new pink shampoo and conditioner: strawberry-scented.

I stepped back into his room soon enough, making as least noise as possible so that I wouldn't wake him up. He was lying down on his side, his body facing the wall. I got under the blanket on the other half of the bed, his back facing me. I crawled near him and kissed his head. "Good night, Naru-sensei. I love you."

--

I was walking to class from my room. It sucks, but Narumi-sensei woke me up early so that I wouldn't be late to class. I still needed to change into my uniform and all, so yeah. I wondered why he was always late when he was my teacher in the primary division school if he always woke up early.

As I neared the classroom, I saw more and more gossiping people with either shocked or excited looks on their faces. _Something new must have happened, huh. I wonder if it's a new student or something. _It was most likely a guy judging by most people's reactions: some guys seemed jealous and were probably bad mouthing the new student at the moment; some girls were squealing like mad, probably because he was good-looking or seemed cool or whatever. Well, I'll find out soon enough.

I opened the large doors of classroom 9-C wide open. There he was. Hyuuga Natsume. And he was sitting in _my _seat.

_So he's the reason why people are being rowdier than usual today. Huh. I forgot all about him. _I was standing practically right in front of him, glaring at him. But he just continued staring out the window, holding a manga in his hand.

I cleared my throat and caught his attention.

"What?" he asked coldly.

"You're in my seat, Natsume," I told him.

"Hn." He placed his feet on top of the desk and put his manga on his face, leaning back and placing his hands behind his head.

That struck a nerve. Ignoring me, eh? _Arrogant bastard. _I was about to knock his book off of his face and yell at him, but Sumire came up and called him. Ah, I can't tell her to go away. She's still my friend—though she can be so bossy and has an attitude at times. I guess she missed Natsume, too. We all have.

"Natsume-kun, good morning," she said and smiled.

He took off his manga from his face and looked at her.

"It's nice to have you back," she said, joy evident in her tone.

"Ah."

"I guess I'll talk to you some more later, ne?" She smiled again and walked away, her permed hair bouncing behind her.

I was going to continue on to my delayed yelling, but more people came, one after the other. They were all old faces. If they're being like this right now, then I wonder how Ruka will act later on, when he sees Natsume at lunch. Ruka is in a different class this year, so he won't be one of the first people to see Natsume again.

Koko came up next, a grin on his sly face. "Yo, Natsume."

I saw the fire caster narrow his eyes at the mind reader and immediately became suspicious.

"Yo," Natsume replied back monotonously.

"You're finally back and you're mad about something already," he teased. I didn't understand what he meant by that; no one would except for Natsume and him. I bet that he read something that he found entertaining in Natsume's mind. Ah, if only I had some of someone's Mind Reading Alice. Even just a little bit.

I looked at Koko. All I need is one touch. Just a small touch and I could copy his Alice again. I wonder what he would do if I didn't have my Nullification Alice activated right now and he read my mind. I snickered at the thought. I looked back and him then at Natsume, wondering what the Black Cat could possibly be thinking of now.

I saw Natsume send Koko a death glare, giving him a look that said 'I'll burn you.' How typical.

Koko snickered and smiled nervously. "Don't worry about it, I won't do anything. Well, it was nice seeing you again, Natsume. Talk to you later." He went back to his seat.

I tried to touch him when he passed by me, but he easily avoided me and said "Ah, ah, ah," playfully while wagging his index finger at me. I scowled. He made me curious about what Natsume was thinking of. Great. Just great. Now I'm going to be thinking about this for a while.

I sighed and gave up. _I'm not going to get my seat back, am I? _I asked myself. I sat down beside him in defeat. No one sat there anyway, so it was okay. At least I still get to sit in the back.

A couple of girls came this time, giggling endlessly. I rolled my eyes at the sight of them. Some of them weren't even in this class. To me, they were a bunch of bitches who craved attention and had low personalities.

"Hi," one of them said. Her name was Haruka. "I heard that your name is Natsume. My name is Arai Haruka. You can call me Haru-chan," she said flirtatiously, twirling her medium length pink hair around her index finger.

Natsume merely blinked and looked back out the window, which just made her push herself more to get his attention. I smirked, trying to supress my laughter.

"Ano, at lunch, you can come sit with us," she said in a soft voice, trying to seem innocent when I knew she wasn't. He ignored her again; and knowing Natsume, he probably didn't give a damn. She stomped her foot and went back to her friends; and one of them came back, confident that she would be able to get Natsume to pay attention to her.

She was from my class as well. I found her more annoying than the previous girl. "Ne, Natsume," she said playfully, "come with us, wont' you?" He ignored her too and grunted. I smirked wider. I bet that he was getting annoyed.

"Mou, don't be so cold. It doesn't suit your handsome face." She took hold of one of his two hands and tugged on it a bit.

He turned his head toward her slowly. Ah, she finally caught his attention. But not the kind that she wanted. He glared at her and finally said something: "Don't touch me."

She flinched a bit, but continued, which she shouldn't have done. We all know how Natsume is. Well, except for her and her friends, who just transferred her when Natsume was sent away. So naturally, they didn't know Natsume like anyone at the Academy would.

He forcefully pulled his hand back.

"Well, you don't prefer hanging out with _her, _do you?" She pointed to me. "Sakura Mikan isn't someone who you should hang out with. Take it from someone who knows, Natsume." A mocking smirk formed on her face. What, did this idiot have nothing better to do? Tch. It was expected for her to pick on me. How low. She continued, trying to get Natsume to get away from me. "She's no good. She's part of the Dangerous Ability Class, and people from there aren't exactly the best people to befriend. She thinks too highly of herself and has a bad attitude as well. Ah, and she's a slut as well. Would you like to know who she likes?" She smirked.

_What. The. Hell. _One word kept ringing in my mind that described her perfectly: _**BITCH**__. _I opened my mouth to say some something, but Natsume beat me to it, which I didn't mind at all. Not at all.

"Look, you bitch," he said, saying the words in my mind, "polka dots right here is much better than you'll ever be. You're wasting my time so if you don't mind, leave before I burn you to a crisp. I also happen to be part of the Dangerous Ability Class and have been here much longer than you." He unexpectedly put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, making me blush. _Arg, damn you and your hotness, _I scowled.

She stared and him wide-eyed and still didn't go away. "But- but-"

"I said: leave." He sent her an ever deadlier glare than earlier and within seconds, her hair was on fire.

I watched her run around frantically, being entertained. I put out the fire on her hair not because of sympathy but because it was the right thing to do. I sighed, disappointed that the fun was over. _She deserved worse._ If only I could kill her myself. I wouldn't have a second thought about it.

She went back to her other friends and cried while they looked admiringly at Natsume. I guess that his "bad boy" image just made him look more attractive to them. I could practically see their eyes forming into hearts and drooling like dogs. They also probably hated me more than they already did since Natsume did, after all, place his arm around me.

"Why'd you do that for?" He stared at me calmly with his ruby eyes and I stared back at him. I shrugged. "It was entertaining, but her loud wailing was getting annoying."

"Oh."

I carefully got his arm off of me, not wanting to make him mad again.

"You owe me, polka dots. Big time."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"I just remembered how annoying fan girls are," he said in an annoyed tone and looked back out the window.

The teacher came in and the students hurried to their seats. He began calling everyone's names on the list of students and marked them as either present or absent. A confused look became on his face. He counted the number of students on his list then the number of students in his classroom. "You, in the back," he said, referring to Natsume. "I think you're in the wrong class-" he stopped, seeing Natsume's face clearly.

"Is there a problem, _Sensei?_" Natsume asked stoically.

The teacher paled a bit and shook his head. "Y-You're... N-No. Not at all."

***

Natsume and I walked out of the classroom side by side.

"We have to go see Principal Kuonji and Persona now. We didn't report to them yet."

"Hn." I guessed that he meant yes by that 'hn' since he didn't go somewhere else and continued to walk with me toward the primary division. He tucked his hand into his pocket, a familiar Natsume action to me.

When we got to the Primary Division, we bumped into Natsume's mini-self: little Youichi. Actually, what really happened was that Natsume literally bumped into Yo-chan.

"Ouch. Watch what where you're going-" he stopped mid-sentence once he looked up at who he had bumped into. "Natsume nii-san! You're back!" He pounced on Natsume and hugged him tightly. "You're back."

Natsume chuckled and ruffled Youichi's grey hair. "Ah. I'm back, Yo-chan."

His onyx eyes sparkled with excitement. "I kept that shadow freak away from her while you weren't here, just like you told me," he said proudly. "I also kept away any guy who tried to get close to her."

"Good job," Natsume said and showed one of his precious smiles.

I chuckled. They really seemed like real loving brothers. _Wait… Did Yo-chan just say... _"Hey! So it's all your fault that Youichi kept chasing Tsubasa-senpai and everyone away with his ghosts?"

"Look at the time. We have to get going, polka," he said and started walking away quickly. "Later, Yo-chan," he added.

"Hey! Wait up, Natsume!" I shouted, and ran after him. _Bastard._

**Author's Note: So, there is chapter five. I'm changing this story to NarumiMikanNatsume love triangle instead of just NarumiMikan. I hope you guys liked it. :) I wanted to update all of my stories by yesterday because it was my birthday but I didn't get to. Sorry. So yeah, I'm finally 16, but still a midget. :P If you have any suggestions, questions, or whatnot, feel free to tell me. Thanks for reading.**

**Review please. :) Flames are highly accepted.**

**Ja!**

**-Aimee**


	6. Narumi sensei's Feelings?

-

**Chapter Six: Narumi-sensei's Feelings?**

**-**

"Natsume! Come back here, you!" I yelled and increased my pace. My God, he's gotten so tall that he doesn't even have to walk that fast in order to keep his distance from me. His long legs allow him to take long strides at a time, when it takes me about four steps to equal just one of his full steps. _Lucky bastard. _

He stopped and faced the wall, so I stopped too and looked at what he was looking at.

We stood in front of the large oak doors that had a golden plaque with the words **PRINCIPAL KUONJI'S OFFICE **written on it. I froze instantly and began to shake. The dream I had about him the other day made my hair stand up. _I don't want to see him. He scares me. _I looked at Natsume whose eyes were on me so I shook my head frantically and raised my fist to knock on the door but found myself immobile again. _I don't want to… _I felt my pulse race and a bead of sweat ran down my face. It felt like I couldn't breathe. _Somebody, help me..._

I heard the loud tapping of something on the principal's door which snapped me out of my little trance; it was Natsume. I looked up at his now emotionless face. I could feel tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes and mouthed a "Thank you" to him as Persona told us to enter.

He turned the golden knob of the door and entered. I followed behind him.

"Hyuuga Natsume, it's nice to have you back," said the principal. As always, he was seated comfortably on his large office chair, swinging it some side to side, his piercing eyes staring straight at you. "You won't be doing anything rash again like last time, will you? I don't think that you want to be sent away on a long, _long _mission again, right, Natsume?" He chuckled darkly, his eyes steady on Natsume.

Natsume said nothing in return and stayed silent.

"Now, how was the mission?"

"Fine. Here's the book," Natsume said emotionlessly and placed the tome on top of Kuonji's desk then walked back to my side. It made me feel somewhat at ease when he's by my side rather than when I'm alone with Persona and Principal Kuonji.

"Did you kill all of them? No witnesses left?"

"Of course," Natsume answered again, his voice monotonous.

"Excellent. I expected no less." He turned his head to me, a mocking grin on his face. Oh, I just know that he feels like tearing me inside-out. "You're quieter than usual, _Mikan-chan._"

I grimaced. _Damn him._

"Leave," Kuonji ordered abruptly. I stood idly and blinked. "Leave!" he thundered.

"H-Hai," I answered and exited immediately. _He seems crankier than usual. _I shrugged. It's better this way, I guess. At least I don't have to stay in that dimly lit room any longer.

"Where are we going now?" Natsume asked, his voice just a bit livelier than earlier.

"Dangerous Ability Class."

He smirked and walked ahead of me. Apparently, he still remembered how to get to the Dangerous Ability Classroom so he doesn't need my help. What. An. Ass. "Wait for me, Natsume!" I yelled yet again and ran after him. _Stupid Natsume with his stupid long legs._

"I can't wait to see what those bastard senpais have been doing," he said arrogantly. I bumped into him because of his sudden stop and stumbled a few steps backward. "On second thought, I'll see them next time." He yawned and faced a different direction. "I go bother those idiots next time. I guess I'm still tired from the mission. Later, polka dots."

"Natsume! I told you not to call me polka dots!" I yelled, but he was already out of hearing range from me.

***

I inhaled a gust of air and exhaled. _Here goes nothing. _I knocked on the doors that served as barriers to my dearest Narumi-sensei's room. In a flash, the door swung open, showing a smiling Narumi-sensei.

"I was waiting for you, Mikan," he said, his expressive purple eyes staring at me endearingly. I blushed, embarrassed and flustered. _So he knew I was going to come? Maybe I'm bothering him too much… _He smiled and ushered me in, closing the door quietly. "It's almost as if you live here with me, Mikan-chan," he chuckled.

I frowned and looked away. _Does he not want me here? I want to be near Sensei... I want to touch him, to smell his cologne, and just look at his angelic face... Is there something wrong with that? _Somehow, I managed to muster up the courage to ask him: "Narumi-sensei, do you want me to leave?" I know that if he says no, it'll be painful, but I'll leave. I stared at him and waited for his answer. I don't want to be separated from him, but if he doesn't want my presence, then I will leave.

A surprised look was on his face. "Mikan, of course not. Why in the world would that ever cross your mind?" he asked sincerely and walked toward me. Now it was my turn to be surprised. His arms were wrapped around me, embracing me tightly. He ran his fingers through my loose hair and whispered to my ear: "Why would I want someone who is precious to me to leave? I enjoy your company, Mikan."

I felt my cheeks become hot. My heart started to pound against my chest rapidly. _Is this what they call. . . "Love?" Well, Kami-sama, I hope it is, _I thought and barely stopped myself from melting in his arms. I've been thinking about what love really is lately . . .

Unfortunately for me, he soon broke the embrace. "Do you want some hot chocolate or something, Mikan?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No thanks."

"Well, you know where my pajamas and where everything else is, right?"

I nodded my head.

"Okay. I'm going to sleep now, alright? I'll wake up early to make breakfast for both of us," he smiled and walked to his room. I watched him with each step he took, not taking my eyes off him for one second. He stopped in the doorway of his bedroom and lingered there. After a while, he faced me and smiled his gentle smile at me. "Good night, Mikan."

I smiled back at him. "Good night, Sensei." And just like that, he was gone.

I sighed. _How I long to be with him. _I hurriedly did my homework and showered, using Naru-sensei's pajamas again, which were too big for me, but I liked using them more than my own since, well, they were his. All this took about half an hour; half an hour wasted that I should have used spending time with Sensei.

I tiptoed quietly into his room and closed the door quietly, diminishing the rays of light that came from the other room(s). Ever so carefully did I crawl into his bed.

I stared at Narumi-sensei's sleeping form and giggled. _He looks adorable. _He tossed and turned and ended up facing me, his sleeping face mumbling something too vague for me to hear and understand.

All of a sudden, he pulled me close to him and hugged me. I blushed, and looked at his face again.

"Yuka-senpai. . ."

My eyes widened in disbelief. _Yuka? My mother?_

I freed myself from his hug and got of bed. _So he doesn't love me after all . . ._

My chest ached and it felt as if my heart weighed a thousand tons. "I guess that your heart belongs only to _that woman_, huh."

I tried to fight back the anguish tears that wanted to fall, but failed miserably. Tear after tear ran down my cheeks, seeming as if they were flowing endlessly. _Why her? Why can't it be me? I'm right here! _"Why?"I looked at his innocent sleeping face, feeling the pain in my chest increase.

"Good-bye, Sensei," I whispered.

"I love you."

**Author's Note: Chapter six done. I know, it's short. But it's a nice chapter, don't you think ;) Sad, if you ask me. Well, I'll try to update ASAP, but I don't really know when the next time I update will be since I'm kind of lazy. .__. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Review please. :) Flames are highly accepted.**

**Ja!**

**-Aimee**


	7. How Far Can Selfishness & Idiocy Go?

**-**

**Chapter Seven: Just How Far Selfishness & Idiocy Can Go?**

**-**

I ignored the girls who stood outside my classroom, sending me dirty looks. _If this is about Natsume, they can have him . . . I don't want him . . ._

I continued making my way to my seat, lifeless, loveless. I don't even know I even managed to get to class. I don't want to do anything. I just want to cry in bed all day and complain to myself about how miserable I am and how I will never be able to love again.

Except I know I shouldn't do that. Crying will solve nothing.

But if that's so, then why do I still cry so much?

Simple.

_It's because it just hurts so bad . . ._

I sat next down to Natsume, his manga on his face again.

Resting my face in my palms, I stared into space, wondering what to do with myself.

"_Yuka-senpai . . ._" Narumi-sensei's voice rang in my head.

I dug my nails into my scalp, frustrated. _My mother. My own mother. _I tried to picture her face, but nothing happened. I don't know her. I never did.

Azumi Yuka.

I began to hate that name, that person.

_Azumi Yuka. _My "mother." She was never there for me. She never will be.

I don't know her. I never will.

To me, she doesn't exist. We've never met.

We're not related. She's not my mother. She abandoned me . . .

She abandoned me! Come to think of it, that's what she's good at, isn't it? She abandoned everyone here in Gakuen Alice: including Narumi-sensei. I can't believe I actually thought she wanted to protect me, that she was actually a good person.

A voice in my head laughed mockingly, a voice that sounded very similar to my own…

She purposely left him to rot in this academy, _yet he still loves her! _

I dug my nails deeper into my scalp; I wanted to cry.

My chest felt tight, my heart heavy, my lungs as if they would shrink and fall off at any moment.

"_Yuka-senpai . . ._" Sensei's voice saying her name rang in my ears again.

My emotions became a mix of everything—confusion, hatred, loneliness, and so much more . . . With rage and sorrow as the two dominating emotions among everything else.

_Azumi Yuka. _I hate her.

I bit my lip and tried to imagine how she looked. I concluded that she didn't look beautiful; she was just like any other ordinary girl, otherwise _I_ would look beautiful. But I'm not. Hell, even _Reo _said I resemble her. I just _had_ to inherit her genes . . .

Even her Alice! It's because of this cursed Alice that I'm living the way I am right now. If I had never gotten it, then the ESP wouldn't always keep his eye on me, I wouldn't be in the Dangerous Ability Class, Hotaru wouldn't have been sent away, and maybe Natsume wouldn't have either and I might have fallen madly in love with him . . .

My anger quickly shifted back to sorrow. Once again, I was ready to cry . . .

If I look similar to my mother, then is that why Narumi-sensei treats me so well? I don't want that at all… If he _did _love me, then I don't want it because I have _anything _to do with _that woman. _If he supposedly loved me, then I want it to be because he loves me, Mikan, and for no other reason than that . . .

_Am I not good enough?_

My sadness became overwhelming, as if I was about to lose control.

I think I'm starting to lose the little sanity I have left . . .

"Itai!" I shrieked, feeling the roots of my hair being pulled. I looked at the person to my left, peeved. "What the hell did you do that for?!" I fumed. This jerk just dragged me away from my thoughts!

. . . Which isn't a bad thing at all . . .

"You had a stupid look on your face. And by stupid I mean stupider than usual."

"Oh. Okay," I replied. I placed my face back on my palms, ready to let my emotions control me completely.

I could feel his eyes on me, but I guess it wasn't anything too odd. He'll probably comment on how stupid I look or how ugly I am again…

I heard him shift in his chair and set his manga down. "Anything happen?" he asked. His voice was monotonous, but I could tell he was concerned about me and that his attention was on me now. _Just perfect._

I answered his question with another question— a completely different question, but still a question nonetheless. "Natsume, have you ever been in love?"

I heard a light chuckle from him. "No shit," he answered, his voice filled with sarcasm and anger. _I guess that that means he's in love with me, even after all this time . . ._

To keep my mind off Narumi-sensei and _that woman, _and also to be fair to Natsume, I answered his question honestly. "I think I'm depressed."

He said nothing, so I continued talking about myself. Selfish, aren't I?

"I hate love. It's stupid. I don't even know what the hell it is and it's destroying my life!"

"What, did the person you _love _dump you or something?" Natsume spat out bitterly. "You're still the same as before: a stupid little girl. . ." He discontinued what he was saying and became silent again.

I ignored his comment; I wasn't in the mood to argue with the fire caster. I know that he's just going to keep on calling me names, which doesn't help me with anything at all . . . I need to get my mind off of Narumi-sensei somehow . . . Every time I remember him, my heart feels like it's being squeezed mercilessly…

I think I'd even prefer being with the ESP than feeling like this . . .

"Did you know that I'm crazy? I'm insane," I told him, but I don't think he took me seriously.

Sitting up straight, I turned my head and faced him. "I'm serious."

He knew I was serious, but he looked away instead of looking me in the eye, and he still wore the same unexpressive face he always wore. "I think I am, too," I heard him say, his voice barely audible.

"I guess we're in the same boat then."

"We're not." Finally, he faced me, his eyes dancing with passion, his lips curved into an angry frown. "You don't even know a single thing about me, but I can read you like a book. _I_ have protected you, sacrificed for you, endured for you, but _you_? What have you done for me, for _anyone_? All you do is cry when reality hits you. You still are the same stupid, little girl; you've never changed."

Seeing his scorn-filled eyes just before he left, he jumped over my head and walked away, the sound of his footsteps fading away the farther away he was from me.

I didn't run after him. I didn't apologize. I didn't even see him leave out the door.

All I did was stay in place, staring at the empty seat Natsume had just been in. He was right. I'm still the same stupid, little girl I've been. I thought I had changed, but I was wrong.

Everything he said was true. Everything.

Because right now, the only thing I was certain of was that I wanted to cry, because reality had hurt me once again.

***

When I walked into the Dangerous Ability, the Black Cat was already there. He was sitting all the way in the back, Youichi beside him.

I guess he already received his welcome.

Akira was in class today as well, glaring at the newcomer. "So he must be the infamous Hyuuga Natsume, eh? He doesn't look as great as they say," he scoffed, eyeing Natsume for any visible physical flaws.

He tailed along behind me, ranting about Natsume.

"Akira-kun, please, not today… I don't feel well . . ."

Surprisingly enough, he shut up and walked away quietly, without another word about Natsume. I rarely ask people for anything, and this was one of those times that I needed something, a favor perhaps. He knew that, he understood. He understood me.

Tsubasa-senpai must have gotten the message as well, since he didn't approach me as he usually did. Nobara-senpai too, because she said nothing and just hugged me tight. Friends are nice—they're wonderful.

But a best friend would be even better, a confidante. Someone who I could tell everything to, someone who would slap me around for my own good when everyone else felt sympathized me. Someone like Imai Hotaru…

_I miss her… _

She knows the right way to treat me all the time. If she were here right now, she would know what to do. But she's not, and the only one who knows me best here—though I hate to admit it—is Natsume.

And he would be a terrible confidante for he loves me. And if he were my confidante, then all hell would have broken loose long ago.

***

For the rest of the day, I didn't see Natsume. I didn't want to see him.

After all my classes, I headed straight to my room, and here I am, lying in bed.

Thank the heavens that I have no missions tonight. I have no reason to see him, and I have zero chance of teleporting myself to Narumi-sensei's room…

_Dammit!_

I need to stop thinking about him . . . Here it is again, that invisible force that keeps wringing my heart, barely sparing me, barely keeping me alive…

_Crush it! Hurry up and crush it! _

But it kept pumping. I could still feel it. The damned thing was still there. I was still alive.

Those damp, warm droplets in my eyes were on the verge of falling again.

_I don't want to cry, _I told myself, trying to prevent the tears from coming any further, _I can't. _

But I ended up crying anyway, tears running down my face, one after another. At some point, I thought I had finished with my childish act, but I sniffled once, and the tears began to fall again. From what seemed like endless tears, the weeping lessened and turned into light sobs until I finally laid quietly, facing the white ceiling for the millionth time in my life.

For a while, I just stared, my pillow and several strands of hair soaked in tears.

I must've stared at the ceiling for some time, my pillow and hair dried up already.

_Narumi-sensei, Narumi-sensei, Narumi-sensei_, was all that ran through my head. _Is it really love?_ Is what I feel for him "love?"

The more I thought about it, the more questions arose, and the more I doubted my feelings for him. If it is love, then what kind of love is it? Have I mistaken fatherly love for romantic love? It would be disastrous if that was so . . .

…Or am I merely confused? Obssessed? Afraid?

_I don't know…_

If I _am _in love, then somehow, I must have fallen in love. And if I fell in love, then I can fall _out _of love, right? _That's it! _I know how I can stop thinking about Narumi-sensei. I know how I can save myself.

The only way to get over someone you love is falling in love with someone else.

If I fall in love with someone else, then I'll _definitely _fall out of love with Narumi-sensei. I just know it…

Candidates? Toyama Akira. Andou Tsubasa. And Hyuuga Natsume.

Anyone will do. I just want to stop feeling like this…

* * *

**Author's Note: I don****'t remember when the last time I updated was . . . All I know is that it****'s been a _longggg _while. I hope you enjoyed this chapter anyway, even though it was a mere 2,000 words. If you want me to update faster, pester me! Seriously. I get lazy and I****'m heading off to college in three days. :O Well, don****'t assume anything for this story! You never know what could happen ;) It****'s still a love triangle, so . . . Let me stop there xD **

**Review please! **

**Flames are highly accepted. **

**Critiques are most welcomed.**

**Ja,**

**Aimee  
**


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